the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bags despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life
Sarah: You missed all kinds of stuff. Like the Mexican mafia doing work in our backyard all day.
Garrison: ...I forgot what it's like to live here.
Sarah: You also missed the screaming sink.
Garrison: So I was jerking it earlier, and Alex just BURSTS into my room--
Sarah: Why didn't you lock the door?
Garrison: I dunno, I thought I already had.
Garrison: Anyway, just so you know-- Alex comes in, I'm immediately flaccid.
Garrison: And then we bonded over the porn site I was on.
- WALKING TO THE FOREST TO DIE everything from harry waking up in dumbledore’s office to voldemort killing him is just exquisite — harry’s realisation that dumbledore had been grooming him for death and harry being hyperaware of his own body, “brain and nerve and bounding heart” is all so gorgeous and sad and wonderful, and he’s so brave. HE’S SO BRAVE. I’M SO FUCKING SAD IT’S BEEN 7 YEARS
- destroying dumbledore’s office i love this scene because after 4 books of harry keeping shit to himself and sitting on his feelings you get lots of minor, small explosions post-cedric dying and then THIS, it’s a NUCLEAR BOMB OF ANGER and it’s so satisfying to read but also the most painful thing in the world, ever
- politely asking the sphinx to move, please this cracks me up every time. if someone was like show me ONE THING that DEFINES harry james potter AS A HUMAN AND A CHARACTER i would show them this scene. life-threatening wizard competition. dangerous magical creature. “can you move, please?” my son
- torturing amycus after he spit on mcgonagall this means A Lot to me because harry just straight up crucios that fucker without any hesitation or warm-up and puts so much feeling behind it. anything where harry is morally grey is my favourite because he’s The Saviour and the Master of Death and it’s like yeah, and he just crucio’d a dude so hard he flew across the room and passed out
- "you don’t have to call me ‘sir’, professor" any scene where harry backchats snape is fantastic but i distinctly remember reading this scene and being like OOOHHHH OOOOOHHHH SICK BUUURRNNNN OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH
How the hell are you supposed to know how much coffee is left if the cup isn’t see through ???